Obssession Or Love???

Even though I'm having a test tomorrow I'm still here blogging... Weird huh??? On Monday it was Maths and well the time is so short and I had headaches so flunked the paper... Same for yesterday's Thinking Skills and today's Further Maths and Physics... Flunked it all... Guess I'm going to see a lot of Ungraded on my paper... Hope my lecturer's wouldn't mind if they know what happened...

Well yesterday has been fun... Went out to Leisure Mall with Tracy... A lot of advice is given by her mum... Thanks a lot Auntie... And I just heard about Tracy's problem... Never mind I'll try my best to help you out this time...

Today I came back home and turned on the television... I couldn't study so my parents didn't mind much... Watched " There's Something About Mary "... The show opened my mind... I was wondering while I'm watching... Am I just obsessed with her or do I truly love her a lot... I kept thinking and thinking hoping to find an answer... Maybe this Friday would tell...

Thoughts

Current Thoughts In My Head

1. Exam in four more hours...

2. Afraid of the results coming out in the next week...

3. Didn't study for exam...

4. Another important result coming out this week...

5. Phobia of PCM...

6. Memories I hope to relive...

7. What happens if I could turn back the time...

8. Outing with my best friend this weekend...

9. How stupid I was for doing those things...

10. Images of her...

11. True love exists with dire consequences...

12. Whether I could meet her or not...

13. What would happen to me and my life when the results come this week...

Realisation

The more you chase over a girl... The more she doesn't like you or hates you...

The more you ignore a girl... The more she's in love with you...

Is that true???

End Post - Part Ten

Went up to Genting for a night there... Sadly I don't have laptops or computer so couldn't go online to check stuffs... Just went there to have different different types of food so its not as fun as everyone thought...

Days have been quite painful... Memories flow in like water... Exam is just around the corner and I'm still here shaking my legs... Damn this chipmunk relaxed too much...

Two days ago my neighbor in my class ( Yee Jie ) left us because he got a full scholarship from JPA to INTI Nilai and will be sent off to America after a year... Well congrats to you and wish you all the best in your studies... And most important don't forget us okay?? We won't forget all your teachings on sign languages and the Z-snap hahax...

These days I felt very left out... Maybe its just me... Maybe everyone is starting to hate me for what I did... I understand... Who I used to be before... The happy-go-lucky guy is just gone... I have to admit I'm really different from last time... I guess its okay for people to hate me now...

End Post - Part Nine

Why??? All the questions in my life could not be answered... There are so many things I wanted to tell someone face to face... But why??? Why can't I???

Time... Its like sand blown by a gust of wind... For a moment time moves slowly... The next second its gone... Time has been really fast for me... Too fast for me to catch up... I'm just left behind everyday...

Fate and Destiny... Something that could never go the way I wanted it... I just followed the flow... It taught me a lot of things that I'm not aware of...

Hmm this post is quite random but its all my feelings jumbled up into lines of words which I don't even know how to interpret... Even though its not my birthday or anything... I wish and hope that I could see her for one more day...

End Post - Part Eight

Wow its been eight posts... Didn't plan to last that long... Anyways college today everyone is stressing out and doing homework while I lazed around... Typical me... I'm just following my old attitude in old times... Too bad private school taught me to walk around doing nothing while everyone from government school are so hardworking and smart...


Today wasn't one of those days... Didn't have my lunch due to friends studying and no one else going for lunch... Went to Sunway Pyramid for fun and met up with some friends and danced at Para Para... Didn't play that game for a long time so got really rusted... After the dance stomach hurts so much that I feel like passing out again... Must be the absence of lunch... Then now in front of the computer typing... What a day...

Today... Fate and Destiny could not meet up yet... There are things I have to do I guess... Or else I wouldn't be stopped like this... Maybe both of them can collide tomorrow...

End Post - Part Seven

Its 5 something in the morning... Couldn't sleep... The pain inside me is just too much... Been having cold sweat... I don't know how long will I last... I wanna end it as soon as possible... Its just too painful for me to bear...

Saw a vision last night... I have a feeling that something good is going to happen after all these...

End Post - Part Six

Fate brought us together... Destiny pulled us apart... The whole night these lines have been in my head for no reason... Couldn't understand what it means either...

Its been weird... Life's been really weird... For a moment you wanna leave everything and another second you wanna keep living to know the future... I've been asking myself these days... Hiding myself from the people around me... Seeking the answers that I wanted to know... But it's of no use...

If... There are lots of if in life... I've realized what if I'm not in that school... What if I never knew her at the start... What if I never do that and make those promises... Life could be so much different... Maybe it could be better... Or maybe it could be worse... Imagine yourself in my position... Maybe you could understand why...

Today's another college day with something different... Went to college as usual... Once I got out of the car I saw the crows again... Staring at me giving some sort of feeling to me... Then in one of the classes my heart suddenly hurt so much I thought I'm going to pass out... But it was just for a moment so I'm still fine... Before I go back home... That feeling came again... And I could finally understand why the crows stared at me like that...

Fate... Destiny... I'll let God to decide tomorrow...